SINGLES & MARRIED: 10 Suggestions To Build Strong Relationships
Again and
again we are confronted with the issue of marriage relationship. The more we
think we know about it the more we discover there are still more to learn. Gospel Today Magazine Writer, Dr. Vivian M. Jackson, says it
takes greater commitment to build a strong perfect relationship.
Birthdays, anniversaries,
Valentine’s Day—its easy to marvel at the expense incurred on one day of
expression compared to “normal” days when a sharp stick in the eye or a passing
animal grunt are the normal prize. A seeming lack of consistency in handling
interpersonal relationships is the norm. No amount of workshops, webinars,
books, small group gatherings, or group and personal therapy can shift you from
the center of your universe.
YOU, Sir and YOU, Ma’am will have to
acknowledge that your narcissism has destroyed every chance for a meaningful
relationship, that the people you rejected were good people, that your fears
created excuses used to justify not taking the relationship to the next level,
and finally that you are alone with the same problem the first human
experienced—no companionship.
There are many complicating factors
that contribute to the inability to sustain healthy relationships. I am by no
means offering a cookie-cutter suggestion. On the contrary, the 10 suggestions
listed below are a beginning point for individuals currently involved in a
relationship or individuals desirous of pursuing a meaningful
relationship.
Due to the required levels of
self-disclosure, selflessness, deference and service to the other, these
suggestions are strongly recommended for individuals in marital or long-term
relationships. Casual relationships where individuals seemingly lack “staying
power” or ask “what do I get out of this” can find the suggestions too restrictive
or demanding.
Check it out for yourself and see if
you’re ready to commit to what it takes to build a strong relationship over
time. I’m sure your special friend will be ecstatic if you began with an
apology for being such a nit-wit (male or female) and without fanfare begin to consistently
display one of the traits outlined below:
1. Steer clear of pettiness. Be kind to one another. Ephesians 4:32
2. Avoid folly. Listen to understand, NOT to respond. Proverbs 18:13
3. Keep an open heart during conflict. Extend unconditional love, forgiveness, and acceptance. Matthew 18:15-22; 1 Corinthians 13:5b
4. Be brave. Tell the truth regardless of the circumstance. Proverbs 10:9
5. Acknowledge the need you have to be touched in a right way. Hug each other often for no reason. Romans 16:16; 2 Corinthians 13:12
6. Calm yourself. Rid yourself of the “ill grill.” Smile when you are stressed out. Proverbs 15:1-2
7. Extend yourself. Ask The Lord to help you be “the friend” your friend needs. 1 Corinthians 13:5a
8. Treat your friend the way they want to be treated; not the way you think they should be treated.
Romans12:9
9. Be generous. Give without manipulation. Luke 6:35
10. Develop a realistic perspective about yourself. Be willing to laugh at yourself. Romans 12:3
1. Steer clear of pettiness. Be kind to one another. Ephesians 4:32
2. Avoid folly. Listen to understand, NOT to respond. Proverbs 18:13
3. Keep an open heart during conflict. Extend unconditional love, forgiveness, and acceptance. Matthew 18:15-22; 1 Corinthians 13:5b
4. Be brave. Tell the truth regardless of the circumstance. Proverbs 10:9
5. Acknowledge the need you have to be touched in a right way. Hug each other often for no reason. Romans 16:16; 2 Corinthians 13:12
6. Calm yourself. Rid yourself of the “ill grill.” Smile when you are stressed out. Proverbs 15:1-2
7. Extend yourself. Ask The Lord to help you be “the friend” your friend needs. 1 Corinthians 13:5a
8. Treat your friend the way they want to be treated; not the way you think they should be treated.
Romans12:9
9. Be generous. Give without manipulation. Luke 6:35
10. Develop a realistic perspective about yourself. Be willing to laugh at yourself. Romans 12:3
Author:
Dr. Vivian
M. Jackson is the President of The Marriage Doctor, a marriage counseling
ministry where she assists couples in developing strategies they are willing to
implement to build strong relationships. Married for 38 years and the mother of
two adult children, Vivian has practiced the craft of being married on the
anvil of experience with Biblical principles as her guide. Affectionately known
as Dr. Vivian, she speaks in conferences and hosts workshops around the nation.
She is the First Lady of Hope Christian Church and the International Communion
of Evangelical Churches headquarters in Beltsville, MD. Contacts:
www.the-marriage-doctor.com; @marriagedoctor2;
vivianmjacksonblog@wordpress.com; thehopeconnection.org
Culled from Gospel Today Magazine @ www.gospeltoday.com
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